Get the fuck out of my bed dirty human!!!
I just ate a whole bag of goldfish omg
THE GOLDFISH CRACKERS NOT ACTUAL LIVE GOLDFISH
i don’t think anyone thought you meant live goldfish
when i’m done dealing with someones shit
i think my parents would yell at me if i died
I may have taught this spider to knit.
I was finishing the last 20 rows at the park, when this little spider wandered over to me, It climbed up my knitting bag, and walked all up and down the piece, then climbed onto my hand and watched me for a couple rows.
After the second row it started waving it’s front four legs as if to get my attention. Once I was looking at it, it started pulling silk from its spinneret, and fiddling with it. I don’t know if it was knitting or purling as it was quite small scale, but every few seconds it would stop and look up at me to see if I was still watching. After a little bit I moved it to one of the vines overhanging the archway I was sitting in, and it went about its business.
This wasn’t the only unusual thing that happened at the park today, but it was the most unusual.
Maybe it thought you were a spider
I’m gonna level with you that’s the fucking cutest shit I have ever fucking heard of okay I want a little spider that knits not sits menacingly above my bed at night threatening to fall into my mouth.
as cute as I find this I still would have frozen up stiffly and petrified. Spider would have gotten what if wanted: my attention while I had a minor panic attack
riddle me this atheists: if god isn’t real then who is inside the kleenex box pushing up the next tissue
if u smell good, we cool
"big boobs don’t count if you’re fat"
neither does a big dick if half of it is your personality